Accepting Limitations July 21, 2010

A couple of years ago, I was a runner. I used to ride my bike at 5 am to the gym which was 5 km away. Then I'd run home, drink some water and run back to the gym.  I would then work on the weights for 1/2 hour and ride my bike home. After that I would work a 8-10 hour day in my catering business which I loved.

I love to run. It was my addiction. I got a big high from it. My favorite time to run is in the morning when the day is new and watch the sun rise. The other runners would always say hi because the day is new and soft still. It is before reality really kicks in.

After my surgery 2 years ago, I was determined to run again and I did. But then I was diagnosed with lung cancer so I took a break.

In January, I decided to try running again at the gym. I was trying to build stamina for a trip we had planned to New York City in March and then Europe in May. I was doing very well until one day at the end of February, I came down with cellulitis.

Cellulitis is a severe infection that I've had 3 times since my surgery. It occurs at the surgery site on my neck and I get very sick very fast. I need to get to a hospital right away for 2 types of antibiotics taken intravenously. It is quite possible that the cellulitis will kill me before the cancer does. So....

Then I realized that I can't  exert myself anymore. I would watch runners go by and my heart would ache, but I could still go for walks. Every day I would go for a 30-45 minute walk. Or I would ride my bike.

These days, I only have a little bit of energy. I have to plan my allotment very day. I have lowered my housekeeping standards and I try to do a fun activity every day.

Last night was a beautiful evening but I didn't have it in me to  go for a walk or ride my bike so I started to feel sorry for myself.

When Mike came home from work, he saw that I was sad so he offered to drive me to the park so we could sit on the bench. That was so nice.

Then he reminded me of all the fun things we did in the last 7 days and I then realized that I probably did more fun things than healthy busy people.

So...no more feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I feel very blessed that I have the opportunities to enjoy my life today.

Thank you Mike! I love you!!