Rehearsal

 

 

So...a couple of weeks ago, I was having some breathing issues. The Palliative Care nurse came by and suggested that I go to the hospital. I can't believe how upset I became. I was scared that I would never come home again and I just wasn't ready for that. I called Mike to come home so we could go to the hospital and I was beside myself. I was expecting my first grandson for a visit, I still had a cookbook to finish and I hadn't even used my new Van Gogh teapot and cup that Mike got for me.

When I arrived at the hospital, they gave me an ativan to calm me and some much needed oxygen. I was still pretty upset but prayed that I would be going home. Now...if you have read my other posts, you would think that I'm o.k. with the dying thing. I thought I was o.k. with the dying thing too, but suddenly, it wasn't for me. I was quite surprised by my reaction. The doctors ran tests and released me the next day. That day I had tea in my new teapot and cup. Two days later Caleb my grandson came for a visit and I finished my cookbook. Now I'm on home oxygen and I can certainly breathe easier. I went to the funeral home today and made arrangements. I made notes to Mike about my bank account etc. I have my will figured out. I have settled my affairs and it feels good. Now I'm no longer afraid. Just very grateful for everyday and determined to still enjoy each day. I'm hoping I will get to meet my new grandchild in the fall, but if I died tomorrow, it would be o.k. and that little grandson would know who his grandmother was. All is well!